always&forever

work in progress; how i’m feeling at the moment

Silence comes to find me, right back where I started; right back where I left:
With all the world’s madness leading me right to your front steps, where I lay crying, pounding on the door, begging to be let in, begging to see your face.
And the pathetic truth is that I’m the one who locked myself out in the first place.
Still, you throw open windows and call down to me by name.
You let down ladders and ropes and long, locks of your own hair for me to climb.
But I keep waiting on the sidewalk, wanting you to come outside.
I want you to come down and rescue me, even though you’ve already ransomed me and with some last fit of wild reasoning I expect you to expect me to do it with my own two feet.
And before you start thinking this is all about being saved by good works- it gets even worse. 
Because this isn’t just some vain, human pride; this is the nagging voice in my head that tells me that such pure, unadulterated, unconditional love could never truly be mine.
“Who would ever want you? You’re a waste of space and a waste of time; a pathetic mess; unreliable, unfaithful and unpredictable at best.
 How could you have possibly been crafted by Almighty hands? With all your flaws, ugliness, complexes and weaknesses
And to top it all off- you talk too much. Do you really think anyone’s listening? You should just shut up. 
Do you think anyone really cares? You know full well you deserve all the rejection, abuse, and blank, empty stares.“ 
These are the lies that haunt me, keep me up at night.
And the glaring truth that I am the reckless, doubtful, runaway, prodigal child.
And I’m my own worst enemy.
And yet you still love me.
How many times do I have to be shown that I can’t do it on my own anymore until I realize that’s exactly how your amazing grace works.
And right now if you asked me, “Sister, are you saved?” I’d reply, “”Brother, I’m still being saved. 

That awkward moment when you’re skyping your cousin and trying to tell her secret things aaaaand your roommate is there but you don’t want to be obvious so you try to give her hints and raise your eyebrows a lot.

Yes.

(Source: mcavoys, via juststayjuststayjuststay)

ohmyasian:

2280. Flat Bulb. By Joonhuyn Kim. Neat.

(Source: ummhello)

theanimalblog:

by Anan Suphap

• I love my host family so incredibly dearly. 
• I don’t even want to think about not having a night with Drew or Carly crawling onto my lap, Ally squeezing me and trying to pick me up and Brody tackling me to the ground in a bear hug.
• I cannot wait to visit Chicago.
• I still can’t believe mewithoutYou is playing next week, like twenty minutes away from me and I won’t get to see them.
• I HAVE TO FIND MY PASSPORT!
• I need more ink and piercings
• Okay, not need at all, but really want.
• I looked through old family photos last night.
• How did we get so broken?
• Chapters are closing, but fresh starts are incomparably grand.
• God is good, always.

fyeahhipsterboys:

I’ve read that book. Hey.

.

(Source: imperfectionsmakeperfections)

(Source: littletreestump, via hangtheelephant)

tried a mewithoutYou station on Pandora, deathcabforcutie and iron&wine came on.

I mean I really like those bands but…….ummm-no mewithoutYou, at all.

I really shouldn’t have tried at all-no one is like them at all.

Well, this one really good one came on by The Paper Explosions, and it was instrumental. I found myself waiting for Aaron’s voice coming in with beautiful words….and I just kept waiting.

(via bonniejamie)

leseera:

falling in love with this guy…and this couple!

stop……don’t stop.

(Source: thechildrenofjk, via bonniejamie)

I still can’t find my passport…

spaceshipignition:

brave-slut:

subwaytovenus:livinginchaos:vulcanorgasm

This scene is the coolest thing that ever was.